My Two Cents…Body Waxing and Spray Tanning Edition

Occasionally I like to review products and services that I fell victim to through word of mouth or advertisement.  Sometimes they are good and sometimes, not so good.  This week I will be reviewing body waxing and spray tanning.  Of course these two events occurred because I was heading to the beach and didn’t want to be hairy and/or white.  I also didn’t want to have to shave every day as I was stricken with the curse of being Mediterranean.

• Body Waxing –  The act of applying hot wax to a hair body part and then ripping it out of its root via a muslin cloth strip.  Quite painful.

As promised, here is the low down on body waxing.  I had my legs waxed from toe to bikini line.  I opted for waxing over shaving and Nair’ing because this promised the most semi-permanent effect just short of electrolysis.  The promise is that the hair, which usually takes four weeks to complete a growing cycle, is pulled out by the root leaving you hairless for a complete cycle.  The only rub is that you have to let your hair grow about 1/8 of an inch for waxing to be effective.  By the way, with tip, Total Cost:  $80.00

As I got semi nude in a very Asian/Spa inspired room, my girl immediately began chatting with me while applying the hot wax and proceeding to remove the week’s worth of hairiness.  I liked her approach.  It took away the stigma of fear.  I must point out that while most women can achieve 1/8 of an inch of hair growth over a few weeks, I can top that.  If I don’t shave for a week, I am a hairy beast.  A day…serious stubble.  As I said before, I was cursed with being Mediterranean.  She removed every piece of hair that was on my legs except those either too short or too fine to be pulled out by the wax.  

I did have minor stubble from the missed hairs that next morning.  I followed up by using a product called Magic Cream.  It is formulated specifically for Black men to prevent razor burn.  I was turned on to this product by other women suffering from unsightly hair.  It worked wonders.  The downside is that the hair began growing back almost immediately.  I know they said 4-6 weeks but I found myself having to take a razor to my legs more than once while on vacation.  

Was it worth the pain?  Yes.  The 20 minutes it took my girl to remove hair from my body pales in comparison to the 45-60 minutes it would take me shaving.  

Was it worth the $70.00?  Probably not.  Not because she wasn’t wonderful and because it was a crappy service.  More so because the process was not meant for women like me.  I think the only route to take at this point is electrolysis.  All things considered, I would have to say that this is awesome for women who don’t have borderline hirsutism.  They say that the hair grows in finer as time goes on but who really has time to wait for a full cycle before you can be waxed again?  Not conducive for summer.  My grade for this service:  B-

• Spray Tanning – The act of standing in a booth while jet streams of sunless tanning solution assault your body in an attempt to turn you a nice golden brown without the harmful effects of the sun.

Can I just say, before I even start, WASTE OF MONEY!!!  Let me paint a picture.  No pun intended.  I was originally going to go with a friend and pay an extra $10.00 to get spray tanned by hand.  For $35.00, someone uses in effect, an airbrush system, to precisely paint you in a way that leaves less streaking and better results.  I had no idea I had to have an appointment.  I was crushed when I got to the salon.  I inquired if anyone else in the area had the regular old spray tan booths and to my delight and fright, there was one place relatively close by.  This was my only chance.  I also read bad reviews about the customer service in this place.   I roll on over there only to be greeted by a half wit receptionist who was more concerned by what was on her co-worker’s IPod than what I was there for.  She was also very weird looking.  She was of mixed race to begin with which I am sure her skin was absolutely beautiful.  She went a step further and tanned.  So much so that she looked freakish.  After she tried to upsell me on an abrasive that removed excess color from elbows and feet, she then tried to sell me on some sort of anti-fader.  I bought into the abrasive.  Total Cost:  $29.00

After she takes the line of people out the door, she proceeds to ask me tons of demographic info.  I just want a spray tan, not to be on your effing mailing list!  That’s done and now I am led into a room where I have to watch a :30 second video on how to stand in this booth.  To my surprise, this was an old school booth.  It involved you standing in one spot, lifting your legs, and rotating.  The whole process was :6 seconds.  I still think I was screwed.  Normal, new machines have your rotate your whole body so all of you gets covered.  This machine had you rub yourself in spots that did not get covered.  As you exit and towel off the excess, there are baby wipes that are provided for you to wipe down feet.  Not here!  They were all out!  I left, got a coffee, and headed home.

As the hours passed, I noticed that all too familiar orangey glow.  The soles of my feet were super dark orange and would not come clean with all of the abrasive in the world.  My arms had those awful streaks that looked like I played in the dirt and didn’t bathe.  I was so embarrassed when I went to the beach the next day that all of my friends told me not to worry and that it didn’t look that bad.  It did look that bad!

A word to the wise.  Risk the cancer and get in a tanning bed or sit outdoors, or spend the $35.00 to go to a professional who will apply it flawlessly.  My grade for this service:  F-

Some other products for your consideration:

• Magic Cream – formulated specifically for Black men
• Venus Razor – the closest shave you can get